What I want my daughter to know

This afternoon my daughter and I worked together to bake a raspberry pie for her grandpa.  I put on my apron and instantly, she wanted hers. We spent a few minutes locating it because,  let's be honest,  with small children sometimes things end up in strange places.  At least in my home they do.

Baking alongside my 4 year old, I began to think about all the things I love about her. Her independence, her sense of humor,  her wit, her smile, her child's heart that desires to help me, her outgoing personality that can make a friend in a matter of minutes. 

Later in the evening she sat at the counter watching me finish up dinner. She pulled a small tube out of her pocket and applied some lipgloss and grinned at me: "Am I beautiful,  mommy?"

My heart melted as I looked at her and I replied: "You're always beautiful, hunny." And decided to add to it. I told her that what makes her beautiful is her kind and loving heart. 

What do I want my daughter to know?  I want her to know that she is much more than her appearance. I want her to know the value of her character and that working on being a loving individual will always be more beneficial than being what the world says is attractive.

Do I want her to be healthy? Of course.  But as a woman that struggled with her body image most of her life, I also know that health is not only bound to the body, but to the mind and soul, as well. 

I pray as my children grow that I will know how to nuture every part of them and that they grow in the knowledge of their gifts and value them more than appearance. I pray they embrace the people God created them to be and that they know how much they are loved.

Fifty Shades of Grey: love vs. lust, a Christ follower's stand point

For weeks we have been surrounded with the debate about the Fifty Shades series and the new movie about to come out.  We've heard many viewpoints: male,  female,  Christian,  non-Christian and plenty more. While I cannot understand how anyone with self-respect (women especially) would stand behind a story filled with abuse and pornography, I may be able to see how a non-believer would be able to justify reading these books or watching the movie. I am more  shocked at people claiming to love the Lord attempting to justify the same. I will be honest in saying that when the books first came out, I began to read the first book without knowing the extent of the content. I did not make it far before I was convicted to stop. I would like to share my viewpoint, as a Christian because of that conviction and the belief that we should all be saying more on the topic. Keep in mind this particular post is directed at those who call themselves believers and for the most part I will let God's Word do the talking.

Let me start by saying,  I have heard many justify it by saying it is a love story. That although,  yes,  Christian's behavior was unhealthy, unloving and abusive, Ana helped bring him to a place of healing. So, it's all ok. Right? Wrong.

As Christians we are called to love and to help those struggling but we are not called to jump right into the sin with them in order to pull them out. Jesus ate with sinners but he did not join in their sin with them in order to draw them out of their troubles. Ana joining into some pretty twisted situations,  allowing herself to be manipulated and controled and used is not a healthy way to bring salvation, no matter how you cut it.

Love according to God's Word is far different from what the world defines it as. Let me share some scriptures on it:

"Love does no harm to its neighbor" Romans 13:10a

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us." 1 John 4:18-19

Let's not confuse love with lust.

"So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh." Galations 5:16

This is how we are called to live as believers, to love others and to walk in the Spirit so that we do not seek what our flesh desires, things that lead to destruction, pain, death. Sexual impurity and lust included.

"The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God." Galatians 5:19-21

"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies." 1 Corinthians 6: 18-20

"It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God." 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

"Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry." Colossians 3:5

I ask you, as followers of Christ, to read these scriptures and take it as a challenge to stand against what the enemy is using to ensnare so many. We are the 'city on the hill', called to give light to the world,  but how can we do that if we are going with the flow of the world? I speak from a heart of love and concern for my fellow brothers and sisters and also, those around them that need, more than ever, to see people set apart from the destruction of porn and all it leads to. "A little yeast leavens the whole batch."

Please, feel free to comment and share.  Let's take a stand together.

Blessings

I want to be a person ready to give up all my worldly possessions at any given moment. My soul finds no real, lasting satisfaction in the things this world tries to entice me with. They can only provide a false feeling of fleeting contentment.

The truth is, the things that bring genuine joy that I will carry with me for the length of my life aren't really things at all but are more like moments.  Tears of joy; a breeze that blows so perfectly as to catch my attention and draw me to the beauty of God's creation, not made by man's hands but His alone; finding realness in another human being,  raw and unmasked;  listening to my children singing or retelling stories to one another, especially when told with a childlike spin;  holding the hand of the man God gave me.
Moments like this:

These are what I feel truly blessed with.  These are what I want my life filled with.

 I am so thankful to my God,  thankful to my family and to my dear friends, for giving me what really matters.

The Waiting Room

You're in the waiting room anticipating an appointment with a doctor to get an issue examined that's been plaguing you for some time. Maybe you're sitting. Maybe you're pacing. Whatever it is you're doing you're anxious for your turn. Ready to hear your named called. This is a place almost everyone has been and I'm pretty sure no one has enjoyed. No one likes being in the waiting room.

Some of us are in the waiting room of life. Waiting for a miracle. Waiting for an answered prayer. We are pacing our way through each day anticipating our name to be called.

It's a tough place to be. It takes enormous amounts of patience. It's so easy to get frustrated. To feel forgotten and downtrodden. Or to even grow angry when things don't happen in our own timing.

But, what if there was joy found in the waiting room. For children, they put tables with lego tops, wall mazes or play kitchens in the waiting room to keep them occupied during those long waits. And for them the time passes more quickly.  For adults they put magazines or books and almost all of us carry a phone we can turn to for distraction and if we put those things to good use time can go more quickly for us as well. But we have to have the right attitude. If we grumble and complain it makes no difference what we do, we will have a miserable time. But if we choose to make the best of it, there is joy to be found.

I believe there's joy to be found in the waiting room of life as well. 

"Wait on the Lord;

Be of good courage,

And He shall strengthen your heart;

Wait, I say, on the Lord!" Psalms 27:14 NKJV

Now, what if that verse means more than just sit and wait for the Lord to do what He is going to do. I like this version because it says "wait ON the Lord" while some say "FOR". I like to believe this means more than just twiddling our thumbs as we wait but that we should literally, serve the Lord as we are waiting.

Praise Him in the waiting room. Worship Him. Pray. Sing. Share. Every day. Every moment you are waiting on that answer, that miracle.

We should be filled with hope and joy as we wait. After all, we are waiting to be ministered to by the Great Physician. The One who has unlimited knowledge and wisdom. The One who knows EXACTLY what the problem is, knows EXACTLY what to administer for the solution and is ever faithful to answer the prayers of those that are earnestly seeking Him!

I encourage you, whatever it is you are waiting for, the salvation of a loved one, chains of affliction or addiction to be broken, a home, healing, whatever it happens to be, wait ON Him, with joy and gratefulness, as you wait FOR Him and rest in the assurance that it may not be in our timing but it will be in the best timing!

A real beauty workout

I'll tell you the truth. I have struggled my whole life with not fitting in the mold of what the world says is attractive. I was unhappy, constantly seeking attention to try and convince myself that I was good enough. Honestly, though, no matter what anyone said I didn't believe it anyway.

I've grown a lot in my perspective, though. We were created in God's image. We are each fearfully and wonderfully created by His mighty hands. That's beautiful.

 But there's more to it than that.

When I think of the most beautiful women I've had in my life they are all very different in appearance. Tall, thick, fair, dark, short, thin... but there are definately similarities. They all had beautiful smiles, and not just because their teeth were perfect or their lips were just right but because they are always smiling. They are kind, gentle, fun, loving... That's what has stuck with me all through the years and gets my attention in the present when I think of beauty.

I've come to the realization that we hear all the time but rarely truly get, and that is that beauty isn't just defined by our outward appearance alone but most importantly by our attitudes, behaviors and spirit. And that is a choice!

How wonderful that we can choose how beautiful we want to be by the way we live and act!

God is so faithful that He has even given us a layout of what beautiful looks like in His Word. If you want to leave an impression on someone practice these things: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness and self control. I guarantee that a soul workout can and will impact those around you far deeper and far longer than any workout you do with your body!

True love.

I  have been thinking a lot about love lately. Love in friendship, in marriage, in parenting. Love for those we don't even know.

 Love is awesome.  It is beautiful.  It is something every single one of us needs although some can't or won't admit it.  To show love is a choice. Sometimes a very difficult choice and sometimes the opposite of how we feel.

 It is what we as Christians are called to do.  We have been called to love others more than ourselves.  To love others the  way we want to be loved.  We are also called to love ALL.  Yes,  that means not  just our families or people of our own race or people we find pleasant  or people that are like us.  That means people that are rude,  poor,  struggling,  different,  man,  woman,  child.  The list goes on. And that my friends,  is no easy feat  because we weren't called to love  to receive anything in return.  We weren't called to love because someone is nice to us or fulfills some deep desire within ourselves.  We are called to love no. matter. what. And it is a choice.

 In today's world we are taught to believe that we only do what  benefits ourselves.  You get married and promise forever  but really you only stay as long as you are fulfilled.  You stay friends with someone as long as they can  fill some gap in your life  but as soon as they have nothing to offer you,  you drop them like a hot potato.  And that is NOT the way of true love.

 True love gives until it hurts. It  says "I know right now there is nothing you can give me emotionally or physically  but I chose to love you anyway".  True love grows from  the personal experience of  God's love.  There is no love on this earth like His love for us. I don't know many people who  love those who hate them so much that they deny their existence or even want to murder them,  do you?

 You see,  anger,  hate,  bitterness and grudge holding,  they are easy.  You don't have to  think too much about those.  They are in our nature. Choosing love,  kindness,  forgiveness
and joy, they are a sign of true strength and wisdom because they take work.

 Honestly,  when you choose to love,  there will be many,  MANY  times when you receive nothing except the satisfaction of knowing you are doing the right thing. But it will change lives,  including your own.

 Lately, I have had to put these very things into practice  and it is something I will never perfect on this earth but want to work hard at every day for the rest of my life. And although I have not reaped any physical benefits from it  and in many cases never will, I have a peace and joy from it.  I want to live a life of love  because I have the knowledge that anything I do without love amounts to nothing.  And more importantly because there is  Someone that I hurt all the time through my choices that continues to love me more than I could ever know and I am so thankful for His love.


1 Corinthians 13:1-3 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. (NIV)

1 Corinthians 13:4–8a Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails ... (NIV)

Story of Joy!

 Good day, world! It has been a while but I'm back.

 Life has been rough. A constant battle of two steps forward and one step back but the progress keeps me motivated, gives me hope. We are doing this.  Pulling the bandaid off the wounds,  looking long and hard at the things we've been trying to hide and letting the healing beginning.

 More and more I'm realizing how much God must love me.

I have struggled so much through my life trying so hard to be loved. I have loving, amazing parents  but  something within me kept me craving  more.  For years I went about seeking proof of my value in attention,  in acceptance,  from my peers. And I have been hurt,  emotionally,  physically and mentally. I've been taken advantage of.  Used.  Degraded.

I was raped.  Only one of my friends at the time knew it had happened and that is only because she was there when it took place.   It took me years to tell anyone else because I  truly believed I asked for it.  I'm only just beginning to let myself free of that guilt.

I  have tried many things to try and relieve myself of the pain in my heart and mind.  Pain  over the rape,  over unfaithfulness,  over rejection. I have done many things I am not proud of. I have cut up my arms.  Drank myself into oblivion  more times than I can count.  Tried taking my life.

And I am not writing any of this for pity.  This is not a sob story.

 This is a story of joy!

  Because there was one person that could fulfill that desire for love in me. My God sought me out. He  picked me up, wrapped me in His strong,  comforting arms  and  showed me the love I have always craved. It took me 29 years to get this.

I write this for all the people out there seeking that attention.  For my own children. Because I know how it feels. I know what it's like to feel my value lies in what others think of me. That my worth is wrapped up in how good I look or how sexy I dress,  how well I fit in,  how many friends I have. Those are lies.

 Only God decides my worth and He thinks I am so very precious that He sent His very own son to die for me. And He thinks the same about you!

I pray that my children get this early. That they grasp their value far sooner than I did but I  am so grateful I grasp it now!

 This is a story of joy!  And I will praise the Lord for His love!